I AM, I SAID

I am a girl.  I am a woman.  I am a daughter, a mother, a sister, a niece, an aunt, and a cousin.

I am a friend.  I am a good friend to some, a great friend to a few, and a lousy friend to a few others.  I am not afraid to try new things.  I am scared to death of many things.

I am shy.  I am outgoing.  I am friendly.  I am self-conscious.  I am a lot of fun.  I am hilarious.  I am a loner and I am sometimes very, very dark.

I am unique.  I am ordinary.  I am a hard worker.  I am an asthmatic.  I am a runner, I am artistic, I am creative.  I am not a very good writer.

I am blonde.  I am curvy.  I am overweight.  I am in better shape today than I was ten years ago.  I am aging well, but I am aging way too rapidly.

I am a recovering infertile woman.  I am a recovering hopeless romantic.  I am one who tends to do everything to excess.  I am blessed.  I am cursed.  I am grateful for what I have, and I am jealous of what others have that I do not.

I am a drama queen.  I am overly emotional.  I am too willing to share too many private details of my life.  I am also very, very secretive and I am often holding in way too much.

I am almost always stressed out.  I am almost always looking for ways to blow off steam.  I am always too busy and I am always over-scheduled.  I am a huge fan of naps.

I am happy a lot.  I am sad a lot.  I am so proud of my beautiful child.  I am often afraid I am a disappointment to those who love me.  I am extremely disappointed in certain people I thought I could count on.  I am lucky for those people in my life who I CAN count on, because I am certain they will always be there for me no matter what.

I am gullible.  I am naive.  I am terrified of what the future holds.  I am a single mom, I am getting divorced, and I am uncertain of what comes next.  I am in love.  I am also learning to trust again, but terrified to do so.

I am confused a lot.  I am a procrastinator.  I am able to bring my A-game EXACTLY when it is needed.  I am generous to a fault, often to my detriment.  I am also capable of being incredibly selfish.

I am forty two years old.  I am constantly looking for answers, I am constantly looking for shoulders to cry on and I am always happy for new friends to play with. 

I am complicated.  I am trying to figure it all out.  I am learning new things about myself every single day.

I am the good, the bad, and the ugly, all rolled into one.  I am all of these things, and more.

I am certain of nothing but this:

I am me.  And that's all I'll ever want to be.