Tuesday, November 30, 2010

THE SEVEN YEAR ITCH

Hard to believe that seven years ago today I started this blog. Well, not THIS blog specifically; this blog is the sequel to my original blog about trying to become a mom.

I started writing two years into our dealings with infertility. Two years after that, our precious Amanda was born. Four long years of trying to get pregnant felt like an eternity. In sharp contrast, my beautiful girl will turn five years old one week from tomorrow - five years that have flown by in the blink of an eye.

Why is it that the pain of infertility makes every day feel like a lifetime, and the joys of being a mom to a little one fly by? Shouldn't it be the other way around? Another of life's ironies, I guess.

So much has happened in these past seven years. I find it interesting that I will be forty in a couple of weeks, and yet I feel so much younger and healthier now than I did when I started blogging at the age of thirty-two. Perhaps there is some validity to "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger," because I feel as strong as ever these days. There were many tough days that I thought infertility would get the best of me; days that I just simply wanted to give up on EVERYTHING. But, I survived, and I had success. What a gift!

While I may not devote the time to my blog that I used to, I still cherish it and I still value it. I am past due on MANY updates (marathon, ultrasounds, etc.), but somehow just knowing that this blog is here is good enough for me. When I am ready to write, I know I can. I can rely on this outlet to be there for me, no matter what. It might sound silly, but it is comforting.

I can't help but think about one of Amanda's favorite movies, "Toy Story 3." When the toys are upset about the thought of being put into storage up in the attic, Woody assures them that they will always be there for Andy, for when he needs them. I know that my blog will be here for me whenever I need it, and I find that pretty reassuring.
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