Monday, June 01, 2009


Honestly, I have the greatest child in the world. She is pure magic.

No one else has managed to erase the pain of the past few days in the way that she has.

After an exhausting day at work, followed up with yet another visit from our cable company, I went into the mudroom to start a load of laundry.

When I came back into the kitchen, there was Amanda, sweeping the floor with her toy broom.

"What are you doing, honey?" I asked her.

"I'm cleaning up the room for you and Daddy."

This made me smile. While, at only three years old, she has no idea what is going on with me, she is no dummy. She knows that mommy hasn't been feeling well. She knows that mommy had to go to the hospital last week. And, more importantly, she knows that mommy is sad, as it has been almost impossible for me to hide my fragile emotional state from her.

"That is really nice that you want to clean up for us."

"Well," she continued, "I want you to be happy all the time, and I know that if I clean up that will make you happy."

Okay. Now this almost sent me into tears. Poor kid. It is absolutely amazing that, no matter how young they are, a child instinctively thinks it is their duty to make their parents happy; or to put it another way, if they see that a parent is NOT happy, the automatically assume it is their fault or something that they need to fix. This makes me feel amazingly guilty, that I have been ignoring my daughter's feelings the past few days to deal with my own needs.

"Come here," I say to her, and she puts down her broom and runs over to me. I give her a huge bear hug and I say "you make me happy all the time Amanda, you really do. And I want YOU to be happy all the time, too."

"Well, I already AM happy all the time Mommy!"

Of course, I can't resist this, and push my luck by asking more questions.

"Why are you happy all the time?" I ask.

"Because you let me watch my shows," she says (whoops! - I love that this is FIRST, by the way!). "And, because you and Daddy take SUCH good care of me." She actually puts emphasis on the word SUCH.

And before I can say anything else, she adds, "And I love you SO MUCH, Mommy." can I possibly feel sorry for myself after this wonderful conversation?

I am so blessed. And sometimes, I forget just how much.

Thanks, Amanda, for reminding me.